FOH at Large

Installs! You have got to be kidding! Local sound companies are going out of business because some guys insist on installing great audio gear into rooms that were once empty palates that longed to be titillated by the taste of audio.

When troubleshooting a problem, one must first ascertain the dilemma and give a proper diagnosis before trying to find a solution. In the case of live audio, we rely upon our experience to enable us to locate and resolve the matter as quickly as possible.

On a gig, if one of the audio components should fail and thereby cause a loss of sound, the audience doesn't care which part of the system is to blame for the problem – they only know that there is something wrong and it needs to be fixed. As the engineer or system tech, you are the one responsible for finding out if it is a bad cable, amplifier or speaker at the root of the failure and repairing the problem.

Other than a slight headache, Rick was feeling pretty good, considering he drank 10 beers and two shots before leaving the bar at 3 a.m. He should have realized that the only reason the waitress was flirting with him was to sell him more beer and to generate a larger tip. "You would think I'd know better after 34 years on this planet," he said to himself as he walked into his small bathroom.

As I am writing this article, it is that time of year once again. As you are reading this article, that time of year is already on the wane. But despite my inability to plan ahead so that you might be able to read a timely piece of poignant journalism, let me be one of the last to say "Happy New Year."

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, defines the word Soul as: "The principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part."

Okay, baseball fans, the World Series is over and the New York Yankees have reclaimed their rightful place as world champions and the path of the parallel universe that the world has been traveling through since 2001 has been corrected.

Children are a blessing, and I wish that one day each and every one of you is able to experience the joy of parenthood. Unfortunately, good thing that it is, there is never a right time to have children. Though there are a million and one good reasons not to have kids, at some point each of the fine excuses one has created just fade away like old technology on a band rider, and you find yourself shipping out on a bus heading off to tour the brave new world of parenthood.

While cold jelly and custard may be every nineteenth century orphan’s dream of escape from gruel, this verse is precisely the reason hospitality riders were written into contracts. Being on the road itself is a grueling affair, and for the most part, there is not a large variety of highway food to choose from as the bus travels from town to town. Even airports, while offering a bit more variety in their dining experience, can only provide a limited fare.

Despite all of our expertise and experience, we live in a world where entropy appears to be the norm and there is no real assurance that our endeavors will lead to success.  Without bloviating or waxing poetic regarding our collective attempts to manipulate and control chaos, Murphy’s Law simply states, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”