I Can’t Drive 85
Officer: Excuse me sir, do you have any idea how fast you were driving?
Me: Officer, I swear I didn’t know I was speeding.
Officer: The neighbors can hear you seven miles away, and that’s across two rivers, a Christmas tree farm, a football stadium and an asylum for unstable musicians. I’ll have to take you in.
Me: Please officer, don’t take me in. I need this gig. So… exactly how fast was I going?
Officer: 118
Me: 118??!!! That’s impossible. This thing can’t even squawk out a hundred.
Officer: Sir, you’ll have to come with me…
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